Love
CONTENTS
Wednesday 10
SECTION 1: Watashi No Heya Wa…
SECTION 2: Graduation Ball Pictures~!
SECTION 3: School On Wednesday 10th (I like the ending of this Section)
SECTION 4: Gadong
Friday 12
SECTION 5: Night Conversation
SECTION 6: Zaed’s Love
——-
SECTION 1: Watashi No Heya Wa…
So here I am again, in front of my laptop, whose name I have changed into Madu’s Link. Now, you don’t need to know the significance of that name… Unless you already know what it means, of course~ And
not literally either. Anyway, back to the main point of this little entry…
My room is one heck of a mess. I haven’t cleaned it since last week Wednesday. Now, to some of you I would sound a little too like a clean freak but truth be told I’m not. I still haven’t wiped the dust off
the ceiling fan blades and I haven’t cleaned out the A/C filter. I need to screw in a new light tube and also some light bulbs into the chandelier. And after all that, I need to create a base for my study lamp
so that it could shin on my table comfortably. I need to vacuum the floor and mop the tiles and wipe the windows clean. Then I need to move the Little Tikes house around so that I could put stuff into it
easily. I also need to fix the Bilik Putih (my ‘supposed’ study room). The light covers need to be cleaned again and the curtains need to be hung up properly. My anime and Manga are all over the place (I will
kill them) and not in order too. My music CD are missing and some of my fiction books are not on the shelf. For some reason, someone has taken my pillows and blanket and my bed sheets. If I am not mistaken,
that usually means someone has taken them to wash… but pillows? How am I supposed to go to sleep?
I guess I’m not going to sleep. I have to do some work and also put some stuff in order. I’ve already cleared up my Manga and anime (first thing I did when I came into my room) and already hung the curtains
up (properly). I wonder how I’m going to move the furniture around?
You see, my room’s electrical jack-in ports are quite inconvenient because it’s placed in only one side of the walls. And since my room was a storage room, there is stuff that is not mine still cramped on the
sides in boxes. I would gladly throw them away but not just yet. I also need to tell them to take their stuff out of my room and put it in their own rooms (sisters and brothers of course). I mean, I’m not
selfish or anything. I know I have a big room but how can I personalize the room if everyone starts shoving their stuff through the door? Yes, I don’t mind if they ask and I allow them but they wouldn’t like
it if I start shoving my books and canvases into their rooms. Maybe a little packet of oil paint on the dressing table and spray paint cans in their closets.
Anyway, no need to rant about messing other people’s rooms now. I’ll just have to find the time to clean up the room. It’ll take more than a day to finish the whole thing off by myself but spring cleaning
(although I shouldn’t call it that since Spring is halfway over) is way too fun to miss out! Yes, I do love cleaning up my room because you find things that you’ve lost or misplaced. Sometimes I find little
bunnies jumping around.
–
SECTION 2: Graduation Ball Pictures~!
And I finally got his picture in my computer! It took me quite a while to get I from Nutter (huff). She drives a hard bargain. She told me I had to pay $100 to get his picture. If I’m not mistaken, that was so
much like the character Nabiki Tendo… 
Anyway, I got the picture/s for free after a little negotiation (cheh).
Now I have his picture in my laptop! I have his picture! And every time I look at it I go so crazy. My heart melts and then it freezes up, then it grows legs and it runs around inside the ribcage. Man… I just
looked at his picture (a few seconds ago) and my heart feels so tensed. It’s like as if I’m going to get a heart attack~ (nauzubillah).
And I’ve also got other pictures from Nutter. I’m getting some from Rabbit (Elmo: he doesn’t know I call him that yet) too soon. Then there are also pictures from Chocoro’s camera. Now, don’t wonder why I
didn’t bring my own camera because I’m going to tell you now. My sister was supposed to lend me her camera but turned out she promised my eldest sister the same thing. Although this is my once in a life time
night in a JIS Ball (last one, duh!) I love my sister and I also thought that my friends would bring their own cameras so I could just snatch some pictures from them. At least I though positively.
Ooh! They’ve also put up some Graduation Ball pictures on some boards located at the landing of the stairs from the disposable cameras (I think) or was it from the hired photographer? Anyway, I haven’t
seen them even though they were on my way up my tutor group class and my way down to my other classes. I heard from Ruzzabear that my picture and Zaed’s were next to each other. I don’t know if he
looked at it and changed it already or something but whatever la. I’ll see it tomorrow and then I’ll be able to know if someone changed it already.
The next time I have a Graduation Ball coming up, I’m going to go ahead and have some good tailors make my dress because the last time I let HER do it she just ruined everything. I think it’s the material that
made it bad too but I don’t know. It looks like a nightgown and I think it still does even after she’s tried to make it look like a dress. But that doesn’t matter. I wore the outfit that I made last year and it
looked alright. I still look good even though I could see my fat rolling the fabric in. Now that wasn’t good word imagery but I couldn’t find another that’s suitable. … My heart is still so heavy from looking at
his face. And man… I can’t forget about the time he hugged me… Well not really hugged. Just placed his arm on my shoulder… MuNYAAAA~~!
–
SECTION 3: School On Wednesday 10th
Today when I started school, I straight away sciived Psycho Kuyuk’s class. To those who do not know who Psycho Kuyuk is, she’s my psychology/drama teacher who annoyingly wants too much work from her
students and assigns essays for a LOT of words for the next day. Anyway, I sciived. But at this time, I don’t feel any dislike for her anymore. I just don’t feel anything whenever I see her. I think as long as
she doesn’t say anything to me about work or assign me anything then I would be fine. I can tolerate her. Then the next two periods were Art. Believe it or not I skipped the lesson! Now, you should wonder
why the hell I would ever do such an unthinkable thing as skip my Art class. Even if you don’t want my answer I’ll give it to you anyway. I had to deal with my Drama coursework.
Now Drama coursework was a pain in the ass. From period one to three I was doing my coursework and I just started doing it that morning. Then when I read my teacher’s note, he said: “Maximum two sides
(not sheets) of A4 paper. Good Luck!” When I read what he wrote, I was feeling quite happy because I didn’t need to do much. Then I got a message from him that said “USE TODAYS LESSON TO FINISH
WRITTEN WORK. BRING IT TO ME BY THREE.” Now, I was confident and ready to hand it to him but I knew he wasn’t around so I spent my break time in a room called E5 that stored two grand pianos
(which my fingers were itching to touch) and listened to the songs in Madu’s Link. Suddenly, at the end of break, a Chinese teacher came in and asked if I was in Year 7. Year 7? Come on. Take a good look.
DO I LOOK LIKE A YEAR 7 (Form 1) KID TO HER? I was polite and said no but she kicked me out as her reply. “You shouldn’t be here!” She said angrily. How would I know I shouldn’t be there? That room
was in my timetable and I’m not sorry if I was in the wrong room because no one told me about it at all.
So I went off and met up with Edna on the way, a friend of mine from Gabon who was also in my class. I told her we had to go to the Drama Studio. We both went there and our teacher wasn’t anywhere in
sight. Then when the other two came into the room, we had a little argument about the amount of pages and amount of sides per question. After a long battle we had to call in the Psycho Kuyuk from her
office (which was right next to the Drama Studio separated by a green door). She took out the syllabus and blabbered on stuff that we didn’t need to know until I told her, “Could you please search the
contents of the syllabus guide for Unit 4: Devising?” Turned to page 45 and there was our answer (after wasting five minutes listening to her). Turned out it was a maximum of two pages per question. Now,
if you saw my answers you would think I was being serious because the answers were damn short. In the two drama periods I had to come up with answers quick. But even then I wasn’t finished because I
calculated that if one page equals to around 700 words in a font 12 then that means two pages is 1400 words. I closed my eyes. That was the first time I felt the pressure of coursework.
I didn’t eat lunch and I was starving as hell. My friends asked me if I wanted to join them for lunch because they were going down to our favorite bench and I just shook my head, telling them that I couldn’
t. I had to finish my coursework first. So I hellishly typed the words and searched through scripts for more information. (During my typing frenzy the school bells rung a few times and from the corner of my
eyes, I could see Zaed with his group of people. Daymn, I could hear his voice if I’m close enough.) But I kept on typing. Usually I would call him childishly and then greet him and that would be it. Just to
annoy him. It was the only reason for me to talk to him or it’s the only way I could get his attention. Stupid and immature thinking but hey, I’m obsessed with him. That was why I stopped for 45 minutes from
doing my coursework just to listen to his voice, which wasn’t a lot because he let his friends do most of the talking. But there were times when he spoke so I fell in love. My heart ached so I had to lie my
head down.
Then, when he had to go off, I realized I wasted a period doing nothing. I had an hour and thirty minutes left before I was to hand in my work. So I worked like hell. I heard people say good bye and I
answered with a friendly good bye grunt. Suddenly I heard my phone vibrate since it was on silent. I pulled my phone out of my pocket slowly. My heart was so very heavy it hurt. It was half past three and
my hand shook. This was true. My head spun and my vision blurred and I realized my contact lenses were drying. I took them off and then looked at the message. How I wanted to hit that teacher’s head… “IN
MEETING. LEAVE YOUR WORK IN MY OFFICE WHERE I CAN FIND IT.” My heart was still racing and I had to finish my coursework because I was afraid that he’d finish the meeting early. By the time it
was ten to three I was already at his office printing out my work and he was still not there. Once my work was printed out my heart stopped beating me around with the baseball bat it keeps. I placed it next
to the printer and went off.
For the whole day I was doing my Drama coursework. It’s just so crazy. Then at four I met up with Melvin Biteng, a kid in the Show Choir and Barbershop Boys. He’s a good kid, a wise ass and my friend.
Later at home, I was messaged by my teacher.
He wrote, “THANKS FOR WORK BAS. LOOKS GOOD. KEEP YOUR PHONE WITH YOU TONIGHT, THOUGH, IN CASE I NEED TO SUGGEST ANY LAST MINUTE TWEAKS.”
I wrote, “Sir yes sir!”
He replied, “CHEERS! MY FIRST AND PROBABLY LAST LAUGH OF THE NIGHT. NOW GO AND DO SOME MANGA GRAFFITI ON A BUS STOP OR SOMETHING. YOU KIDS LOVE THAT SORT OF
STUFF.”
It cracked the hell out of me. I’m still laughing now that I read it again.
–
SECTION 4: Gadong
Usually when I go to Gadong I’d go to Coffee Bean. But last time, when I went there, I went crazy ‘coz I was stuck at the Piano Lounge doing work in Centrepoint. I know Coffee Bean is in the same building
but I just couldn’t bother. Too much work to do. Then I met up with ~infiniteFinality who was doing some random stuff himself. Then, we went to Excapade to buy him food. He wanted to treat me to it
but I got out of that since I had to go home at nine. But before we left Excapade, I took out papers to draw some sketchy anime. Suddenly his order was done so we had to go. Then I packed up but this guy
who worked in Excapade wanted to see the drawing and I showed it to him. It was kind of flattering because he said it was nice. Then he said he drew too. I asked if it was anime but he said no and I said,
“Cool”. I wasn’t sure if he was Malay, Filipino, Thai or what. But I knew for sure that he was Asian. He asked for my name and I said, “Bashi.” I wanted to add the “ma” at the end but I was so used to people
calling me Bashi that I forget to name myself right. Then he said his name was “Woofy”. Now… To make it clear that he really said “Woofy” I looked over at his name badge. He moved his chest so that I could
see it and… yes, his name was Woofy. Interesting. He was a good guy. Should’ve asked if he had Friendster or asked if he was a DevArtist himself. You never know.
–
SECTION 5: Night Conversation
Last night, Resha-chan (best friend) called me to talk about today’s little outing. She’d going on a date at around two but later, she wants to meet up with me for a little serious talk with her boyfriend. But
then she wants me to be there while she has her serious talk. Yes, I will be there and I got an advice from ‘Chicken Pie’ who shall remain annonymous until after this entry. I already knew that I was there
just as a physical support ‘thing’ but when they start fighting, I guess I’ll have to calm them both down then. It’s so annoying that I have to do this but I will do it for my friend no matter what the situation
is… Unless it’s all about family then I’d like to lay off until she gives me permission to go and disturb the peace.
Alright, away from her problems in life, which I don’t think I was suppose to speak about since it’s about her and not me… We talked more about Zaed. Now, I was depressed when she talked about her
cousin being in her room because it reminded me of Zaed. Maybe because they are cousins. Anyway, I told her about my depression and then she said:
-I think he likes you but he doesn’t know about it yet.
-What? No way… (sad voice)
-The thing is, he usually doesn’t talk to me. Well he never talks to me. But then, after he asked me if Bashi was my friend then I said, "Bashima? Yea, she’s my friend." Then he just walked off.
My heart was heavy.
-Then the next he talked to me it was about you, Bas.
-Really? Banar wa?
-Awu. Because last time he was thinking whether he should go to your house or not for Raya but then he decided not to go. I asked him and he said he was shy.
I’m not going to give up hope yet. He’s leaving soon after the exams to go to UK (and to those girls who eyes him like ahawk, watch out. I might just kill you. - Nah. As long as he’s happy I’ll be half as happy
for him.) and I’m going to miss him like hell. My heart would take a while to heal I guess. The same with my last crush, David. Oh… talking about guys…
Resha finally blurted out what she wanted to about my guy types. Turned out I like guys who look really ‘useless’ or really ‘messy’ BUT (she says) they’re guys who turn out to be intelligent. Now… Did she
mean that they did not look smart or what? It’s so weird… But I think she’s right.
BUT
–
SECTION 6: Zaed’s Love
I was drawing a love comic in school for my cousin (by marriage) and I was almost finished when a friend came by to see the other comics. I had drawn a comic on me and Zaed (all fiction) and she saw it.
She said, "Oh! Is that Zaed and Aqilah?"
I went blank with a smile on my face, "Aqilah loves him?"
And she went, "No." I felt a little tensed and I was right to be, "But he likes her. When he sang ‘I wanna dance with you’, he was looking over at her."
I smiled and finished talking to her. Then, when she walked away, I suddenly said to my friend (because it was true) "My chest hurts. It feels tight." I held onto my chest and tears came out. It was so hard
to breathe. It was really very hard to breathe it was so unbelievable. It had never ever happened to me. Even with David. I cried and Chocoro said, "Bas, sabar. Calm down." It was so hard. Suddenly i gasped
for air. It was so hard. I tried not to make too much noise but there I went. And I tried to hold it back so much. I didn’t realize it but I saw him. He walked towards me but halfway through, he urned around
and walked away. It hurt. But I think he only turned away because he didn’t want to involve himself with the situation or he was going the wrong way. Either way, I tried so hard to stop my crying because I
didn’t want to cry in front of him so I just let my hair cascade on the side of my face and hide the tears. It was the only thing I could do.
I shouldn’t listen to her. I shouldn’t think about him anymore. I should stop. No one ever says stop. But… How? How can I stop? It’s unbelievable what love could do to you. I’m still trying to recover so I’m
listening to confidence boosting songs like Phil Collins ‘Strangers Like Me’, Steve Conte ‘Rain’, Serial Experiments Lain ‘Duvet’ etc…
