::Bashi Qu::

I dislike THUNDER and LIGHTNING. It scares me shytless and I need to get over it soon. I started smoking again last night after the THUNDER stopped and I thought I was going to just smoke one but I did the WHOLE box. How freekin’ scared was I? When I’m alone I get so scared I cry. But when there are other people around I feel safer so I hold it in and feel more relaxed. But shyt…. It was the first time I opened up to anyone about this phobia. During a phonecall with my (now bestest) best friend her place blacked-out and since her phone was a cordless the line died. I tried to call her again but out of CRYING FRUSTRATION I couldn’t reach her. Then she called me on her OTHER phone and I cried to her and now, WE ARE THE BEST OF THE BEST OF THE BESTEST friends. It was usually me who calms her down and listens to her. Last night, she became the listener. It was the first time she listened. The first time I talked and cried other than her. And I felt so relieved that I can count on someone.

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